Saturday, March 26, 2011

Open Letter to The Monthlies

Dear Monthlies,

  We haven't spoken in a while, have we? How are you? Hope all is well. As for myself, I cannot complain. Normally. Right now, I could though.

  Usually when you arrive I do not complain very much. Or I haven't had to as of the last few years. Your visits are brief and you are normally very mild-mannered and grateful that I am letting you throw off my groove, if you know what I mean. You also throw me off-balance quite gently and are very accomodating about leaving everything the way it was when you arrived, given my attitiude about exercise when I have your company. As much as I appreciate your timeliness every month and kind indication that all is well and normal in utero, I really do have one request to make: Could you let up on the apetite changes a little?? I mean really! I understand that I am a big eater and require eating frequently to accomodate my fast metabolism so that I don't waste away, but is it really necessary that my apetite skyrocket up to preposterous heights?

  It is bad enough that fatigue and abdominal cramps prevent me from hitting the gym to maintain what little muscle mass I have spent three months working for. Now you have to make it worse by making my cravings for sweets increase one-hundredfold?? I must have eaten at least 600-800 calories worth of chocolate and cookies today! Oh, and let's not forget the 7-8 breakfast pastries I had for breakfast while at The Big Event this morning! Really not good for the health kick I've been on lately. I let you take residence in my endocrine system and wreak all kinds of havoc, including but not limited to potentially screwing up my personal relationships, and all I get in return is a bloated stomach and having to start my workout routine from square one. Thanks for nothing, really.

Your very bitter arch-enemy,


P.S. If I end up boarding up or tearing out the guest house any time in the next 15 years, you'll know why. Have a nice cycle.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


It's a quarter to midnight, I have class at 9:30 tomorrow, and lo and behold I can't sleep. Too much on my mind. A lot of nerves and anxiety. A lot's gone on since I left, and there are things coming up that I'm getting the good ol' mean reds about. This is gonna sound weird, but it actually feels really good to blog; writing has become therapeutic lately, and I don't know why I haven't stuck to it. People seem to find it annoying when others post their every mundane detail on the internet, but as long as that person isn't being too graphic or rude I see nothing wrong with expressing feelings. We're all entitled to them, after all.

I guess since I've spent a whole paragraph beating around the bush I guess I should admit the reason for my insomnia. I'm sure more than a few people have noticed that I've been a pain in the ass lately. A big one. I've been really negative and whiny and irritating, like nonstop. I don't need anyone to confirm it for me, I've noticed it the duration I've been away. First my parents, then my friends, maybe my roommate, and I'm positive a majority of the year I've been on my boyfriend's last nerve for sure. Hell, I've shot my own nerves, you know there's a problem when that happens. I could probably attribute it to a lot of things right now, but I've already tried to rationalize, introspect, make excuses, and search for psychological personality complexes ad nauseam and quite frankly I'm tired of it. I just want to start over. Now.

I've been a pain in ass towards people starting with my parents, and it's gradually worked its way out to my social circle and probably those outside the circle on Facebook. I can't help but feel that people are sick of me; I would be too. Well, to the people whose patience I've worn down, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, parents. I'm sorry, roommate. I'm sorry, boyfriend. I'm sorry, friends. I'm sorry, people on Facebook. I'm sorry, self. I'm sorry I've done nothing but complain in some way shape or form since I got here. Sorry I let myself relapse from what was a happier state. Sorry I tried to find a scapegoat for my issues. Sorry for everything. :(

I don't know, I just needed that out of my system. Now I just need sleep in my system. Now.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Boredom At Its Finest

This is my current coping mechanism for my state of boredom. I went on Google and typed in "nom nom nom" and looked through the images sections. I ended up saving a bunch of really hilarious pictures because I'm a dork and would rather do dorky things than be in bed sleeping like all them old people :P

That said, here is what I found:

Cute little bunny noms!


This one is kind of horrible, yet funny.

This one looks more like reverse nomming, which is fancy, made-up slang for barfing...
Too cute...

Bahahahaha there are no words!

 Needless to say, not much is going on at my end of the internet. Ooh! I also saw this picture of a rubix cube sandwich:
This is completely irrelevant to this post, however this is too awesome not to post. It was under the "nom nom nom" Google images, so technically it is semi-relevant. It is also a clear indicator of how hungry I am and how desperately I need to go grocery shopping.

That is all.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

New Perspective on Aging

 Today I watched my dad's partner skydive. I was a little iffy about going myself, so I didn't. Plus it's $275, which is money I can't afford to spend at this time. After seeing for myself how fun it really is, and how your stomach doesn't do flip-flops after you jump out, I totally want to go. I wouldn't jump by myself just yet because I don't have the experience, but I would have an instructor. Plus, you can get it on DVD. Hello, bragging rights!
 Anywho, before he boarded I saw the coolest thing in the world. There was this group of 70 year-old men in the group before him that were all dressed up their jumpsuits with their gear all ready to go. They were the most badass group of old guys I'd ever seen. They were regulars. 70 years old and jumping out of planes as a hobby. I only hope I am this cool when I'm old.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I've been thinking... which is dangerous...

I'm in one of those funks again of which I can't get out without annoying people on Facebook and anyone within a 5-mile radius. Time to make myself scarce and begin keeping myself occupied to the max. Things to prepare myself for:
1. Film School Auditions in April
2. Summer job auditions at Busch Gardens (my main focus is securing that job for sure!)
3. If Busch Gardens doesn't work out, auditions at Universal Studios.
4. Submitting to talent agencies
5. If none of those work, then I'm going to have to find some other performing job that pays, or find somewhere relating to Dietetics to volunteer at so I can secure an internship and have my backup taken care of... ish.
6. Getting a job for the fall and spring of next year
7. Volunteer work and CHICS
8. Heavy gym workouts
9. Getting straight A's and if not that, A's and B's.
10. Maybe doing Relay For Life, provided film school auditions are also still the following weekend and I can do the weekend after Relay instead of the morning after staying up for 18 hours straight, should I decide to even do Relay.
11. Talking to advisors about the film studies, theater, and music minors

Maybe I'll have a social life in there somewhere, provided I don't barricade myself away too much. We'll see.