Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentine's Day Weekend

Hey folks,

We spoil each other rotten ;)

Hope everyone had a splendiferous weekend! I know I did. Went home for the weekend from college to celebrate an early Valentine's Day with my boyfriend of one year. We had a blast, like we always do when we are together. The fair was the best part, but I'll get to that later because I like to write in chronological order to keep my thoughts semi-organized. *long breath* Sooo, Friday I drove 4 1/2 hours home, went to dinner at Grille 54 with my dad, Patrick, Marla, and Devin was our waiter. Shenanigans happened. Fun times. Then Saturday Pat worked and I finished his V-Day gift. I made him this illustrated coupon book full of cutesy things to do for your boyfriend. I hate to toot my own horn here, but I am a creative genius sometimes. My coupon ideas and illustrations were damn good. For example, one of the coupons was called "Automatically Win an Argument (Maybe)," and another was "Complaint-Free Foot Rub (Mostly.)." You kind of have to see them, so I'll post a few pics of my ingenuity later on ;). So we went on a picnic and exchanged gifts. He laughed his butt off at my coupons cause I'm good, and I got the ring in the picture.
Then we gorged ourselves on picnic food and talked about how much we love each other and all that mushy stuff you don't care to hear about.
Now for my favorite part. THE FAIR.
Anybody whose been to a fair knows that there all kinds of wacky people, food, and things that go on. Well, that was just it. I'm not going to get into the whole story about the fair because it's long and my chronologic way of thinking might make this more mundane than it was, so I'll just highlight the best parts of the night.
Things that rocked about the fair:
1. Animals!
2. Rides
3. The neat historical exhibits
4. Wacky fried foods on a stick

1. LOVED the animals. We went into one of the barns and there were about two different breeds of cow, five different breeds of sheep, and eight different breeds of goats, all eight breeds of which tried to eat my scarf. AND you got to pet them all! And the babies were so little and cute and I just wanted to take them all home. Same with the rabbits in the Rabbit and Poultry Barn. I got some pictures of some goofy birds too. And I was *this* close to a Florida Panther, and Florida Black Bear. They were cute. I wanted to take them all home. And hug them and squeeze them and pet them... and name them George! But then my dorm might turn into a bloodbath. And my roommate would hate me forever.

2. We didn't go on too many rides because it was $20 for 20 tix, and since there were two of us sharing a sheet, they went pretty quickly. So we just did the ferris wheel and swingy spinny thing. Still awesome because rides are awesome... like the fair. The Ferris Wheel was romantic. We kissed. And cuddled. And you don't care... moving forward.

3. There were some neat exhibits. I liked the agricultural one that showed live species of native and invasive species of Florida wildlife. There were plants, fishies, and mammals. I wanted to take them all home and hug them and squeeze them and you know the drill. Pat's favorite was the steam engine one that had every different model of the steam engine, when it was created, and what its use was for. I wasn't too excited about that one. Steam engines are not my cup of tea.

4. The wacky fried foods on a stick was one of the best parts of the night. Honestly, we could have just skipped out on the picnic because we ate so much at the fair. You won't believe some of the stuff that they will put on a stick. Chocolate covered cheesecake, pizza (!), ice cream (Umm... I think that would just be called a popsicle as opposed to "Ice Cream on a Stick"... doesn't make much sense to me there.), to name a few. And you will not believe what they will deep-fry. Cheese, twinkies, Snicker's bars, ice cream, Oreos. We tried fried Wisconsin cheddar nuggets, fried Oreos, and we split a Philly cheesesteak (which was not deep-fried), all of which were delicious. I would have eaten more, but I didn't wanna barf from Fair Food Overload. I tried the chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick last year. AMAZING.

Things that suck about fairs

1. The price that boyfriends pay to win a stuffed animal for their girlfriends
2. The freak shows
3. Me making the same mistake of wearing high-heeled boots every year, insisting that my feet will be cold if I wear anything else (and refusing to wear sneakers because they look terrible on me unless I'm going to the gym), but ending up having to leave early because my feet hurt so badly.

1. Poor Pat. He ended up spending $20 on a balloon popping dart game to win me a stuffed dog. And he didn't do it on purpose. The guy totally tricked him into paying $5, throwing a dart, and then talked him into paying another $5 to throw another dart until he won. I felt pretty badly about that... but I'm glad Pat won the doggie for me. He's cute. I named him Rex. And I made him bark and wag his tail. Cause I'm five.

2. The. Freak. Shows. Suck. No seriously, don't be That Idiot Who Pays Money to Get Tricked, like me. Last year, I talked Pat into paying two bucks for us to see some lady with the head of a human, and the body of a snake. Totally fake. The lady was sitting under a table with a hole in it and the snake body attached to the table. There were mirrors around the outside of the table that reflected the hay on the ground so you couldn't see she was sitting under there. Ugh.
THIS year I paid two bucks for myself only to see five freak show attractions that were put together (Pat decided against being That Idiot Who Pays Money to Get Tricked. Smart guy.). They were "The World's Largest Pig," "The World's Largest Snake," "The World's Largest Alligator," "The World's Largest Rat," and "The World's Smallest Horse." Idk what the f*** I was thinking, but apparently my expectations were a bit on the unrealistic side. The pig was huge, and stinky. I'm not sure if it was THE world's largest pig, but it was pretty frickin' huge. The alligator was also huge, almost seven feet I wanna say. Not something I would want roaming around my neighborhood. I missed out on the snake because I'm an idiot and I walk right past things that are right in front of me, so I couldn't tell you if it was disappointing or not. But the last two were. The "World's Smallest Horse" was a miniature horse in a pit full of hay. Go figure. The "World's Largest Rat" was freakin' hilarious. I think looking back, I pee a little laughing at people's stupidity regarding this attraction. It was not a rat. At all. It was a Capybara. A Capybara! For those of you who have never seen one before (I hadn't until recently last year), it is a relative of the guinea pig that inhabits the marshes of South America. It basically looks like a guinea pig on steroids. It is the world's largest RODENT, but NOT rat. They get to be about 39 to 51 inches tall. This is a Capybara.
He is cute, I'll give him that. But not a rat. Just a cousin. It sucks because I was pointing out to the people around me that it wasn't a rat, but I couldn't remember the word "capybara." I sounded kind of like: "That's not a rat, guys. Just so you know. I forget what they're called, but they're related to guinea pigs I think. Don't quote me on that, though. Yeah that's definitely not a rat." And I gestured a thumbs-down at Patrick, meaning: "This one was disappointing." I'm an idiot, namely That Idiot Who Pays Money to Get Tricked.

3. I make the same mistake every year of wearing high-heeled boots to the fair, insisting that my feet will be cold if I wear anything else, while refusing to wear sneakers because I'm vain and think they look silly with anything I wear that isn't gym clothing, which doesn't matter anyways because fairs are dirty and the perfect place to ruin pretty shoes. *long breath* I'm a drama queen, you wouldn't understand ;)

Although I wrote a lot more about the comically bad parts of fairs, I really did have a blast. I have had a blast every year for the last two years, and I will continue to go every year forever and ever and ever until I'm old and decrepit and die. Patrick has made my last two Valentine's Days amazing. Happy Pre-Valentine's Day! And many more to come...

Capybaras are cute. I want one. I would hug him and squeeze him and pet him. And name him George. And I could train him and teach him to sit, and roll over, and fetch... and play Chinese Checkers. And he could stay in my dorm and sleep in my bed. But we're not allowed to have pets. And my room would get messy. And then my roommate might hate me forever. So would my RA.