Why I Can't Have Nice Things

  My behavior the last few days has just proven to me that I can't have nice things. NOTE: This post is only explaining why I can't have nice things, not that I don't have nice things. I have lots of nice things (that I'm surprised are still intact), but that's besides the point. I really hope that you find this as humorous as I do. I'm overdue for a blog post rife with dry, self-deprecating humor that demonstrates the farcical circumstances that make up my every day life.

I like saying smart stuff.

But really, I can't have nice things because...

1. I knocked Santa over with my ear buds. Poor Santa.

Please don't ask me why we have a Santa Claus candy dish year-round.

2. I can't even take care of my 4 year-old EnV2. Notice the broken hinge. The speaker doesn't work because I dropped it off my bunk bed at school. The pound key doesn't work either.

3. I have a potty mouth. Anyone with such an ineloquent vocabulary surely doesn't deserve nice things.
4. My room looks like a storage unit.

Looking at this give me a headache.

Notice the box of shoes. Just notice it.

DISCLAIMER: This isn't the nice pretty Hollywood room at my dad's house. This is a 10 year-long redecorating procrastination nightmare that is currently housing all of my college stuff and tons of miscellaneous crap. And more stuffed animals.

I don't know which is more horrifying, the fact that I still have stuffed animals, or that headboard.

5. My car is also a disaster.

Don't kid yourself. Your car is a mess, too.

6. ...of my bank account. #collegekidproblems #yesihashtaggedablogpost #dontjudge

7. I have one year-old dorm dust remaining on my laptop from Smith Hall. 'Nuff said.

You can barely see it... but it's there!

8. ...of this face.

And that hair.

And finally...

9. Because apparently my picture-taking skills are still in the Myspace phase.

I feel it's all the funnier to leave it sideways.